I Want This to Work by Elizabeth Earnshaw

Author:Elizabeth Earnshaw
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sounds True
Published: 2021-09-07T00:00:00+00:00

• “We have the capacity for growth and change.”

• “I don’t have to manage my partner’s emotions.”

• “We celebrate each other.”

• “We both deserve fairness.”

• “We are equals.”

• “We deserve empathy and compassion.”

• “We have each other’s backs.”

• “We are on each other’s side.”

• “We invest in each other.”

In the next few pages, we will explore each core value in more detail.

“We Have the Capacity for Growth and Change”

When we become frustrated with our partner, we start to develop rigid, critical beliefs about them and about the relationship. A key sign that this is happening is when we start to talk about our partner in absolutes: “You never show me you care,” or “You are always so unreasonable,” or “You are so lazy.” Or we use absolutes to talk about the relationship: “It’s always hard work,” or “We will never be as close as I want us to be.” We even conjure absolute beliefs about ourselves: “I am always such a pushover,” or “I will never express myself.”

If you find yourself describing your relationship, your partner, or yourself in negative and unequivocal terms, it’s important to bring some flexibility into your thinking in order to open up space for growth. You can do this in the smallest way, simply by paying attention to the language you use and softening up your fixed statements.

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